Anxiety
I recently wrote a post about emotions and what a rollercoaster they can be, for the child and the parent or carer. Since then I have had a lot more experience and seen techniques used to calm down children in extreme moments of anxiety.
It’s probably a good moment to mention that these techniques don’t necessarily work with all children. You have to find the technique that works with your child you are caring for. My little one doesn’t respond well at all to breathing techniques, but let him run and he calms down.
I met a child recently who has been really struggling with their anxious thoughts to the point where they have stopped doing all the things they enjoy. Another caveat here, these techniques are to support in the moment. If anxiety is extreme, seeing a counsellor trained to really support children is a really good idea too.
The first thing I did when I met this child was to listen. This in itself is a brilliant technique. They were able to tell me some of the thoughts that were going around their head and we were able to address those thoughts and I took them seriously, not dismissing them. But the tears and the anxiety was still there.
So we used some breathing techniques. Sometimes children get themselves into such a state that they cease to be able to think logically. Their heart rate increases, they begin to feel really hot and then their breathing rate increases, they feel really stressed and out of control and they begin to scare themselves. This is where a breathing technique might be helpful.
Hold up your hand in front of them and get them to breathe in as they move their index finger up your thumb and breathe out as they move their index finger down your thumb. Then repeat for all four remaining fingers.
This works for a number of reasons…
It takes the focus off of them and onto you and the technique.
Breathing increases oxygen intake, which helps to calm the nervous system and gradually their breathing slows down and their heart rate slows down.
The brain gets a chance to catch up and see that everything is ok.
Once they have calmed their bodies and their breathing down, they can start to take on board the things you are saying to them.
It could be that you have a little mantra that you say every time that you have used the technique. Something like ‘ you are safe and you are ok’. I also like to sign it with them so that they have a visual reminder. It might be that you can go and explore the things they are feeling anxious about, for example, where are the fire exits or just generally discovering what is happening.
I now have breathing hands on ETSY, which can be attached to a lanyard or a bag as a visual reminder for you all to use the technique or as a way of them being able to independently regulate their own emotions in a stressful situation.
I hope this has been a helpful read. Seeing your little one in distress can be heart wrenching. Use the technique with them so you can keep yourself calm in the situation too.